I survived week one of being a new Mom.
The cesarean was much harder than I thought it would be. Not only did I totally lose my cool when they did the spinal, I didn't realize that they strap you down for the cesarean. The pressure of them removing the placenta was really traumatic, and my heart felt funny, and I had a feeling like a hand was pushing down on my throat choking me. I had no idea it was going to be so difficult and traumatic. I got to see him get checked on the table nearby, and very soon after I had him in my arms and nursed him with the help of the baby nurse. I was completely overwhelmed with joy.
The next 3 days in the hospital was round the clock feeding, and I didn't feel tired till I got home. I was so happy to have the little guy in my arms, and the magic of what had happened to me was intoxicating.
The first week home I went through the pain meds pretty fast and was soon in agonizing pain. A week of a serious sleep deficit caught up with me. I pushed myself too hard. I dragged myself to school, was in serious pain, unable to concentrate and had breast milk blotches on my shirt. Due to a week of induction of labor, and a week of the surgery, I am two weeks behind in my coursework. My incision got infected, and I couldn't find anything to wear that didn't hurt. Breast feeding was exhausting: an hour up to 10-12 times a day, little sleep. I saw 3 lactation consultants in a week and was able to finally get good latch from coaching with the third lactation consultant. Basic tenets: nose to nipple, tummy to tummy, level with breast, get the nipple in mouth when it is wide open.
Now the pain is getting slightly better, and I happy he is getting fed well. I am walking more than a block, and I can lift him without thinking I am going to drop him from stabbing pain, but lifting him is difficult. I just got a diaper changing table, that should make my life easier.
I cannot imagine life without him. I am so in love.